矛盾

到了我们这种年龄，其实还真的蛮矛盾。该幼稚点还是该成熟点，自己也很苦恼。大步走还是停靠，自己都不知该如何是好。看着远方，可笑的是自己到底能走多远，坚持多久，然后大家就你看我，我看你，就这么地过了一年，也许有些人就真的这个样子过一生。

距离我去念书，也剩不到5个星期。豁达点！

犹豫

其实，难道自己要的是什么，都不知道吗？说白点， 其实心里早就有个底，只是欠缺一个可以把他合理化的角色，来支持我现在的决定。 所以犹豫。犹豫犹豫的，又让自己给闭了起来。

选择一：浙江大学

选择二：马大

选择三：理大

我想我知道了。

尊重。负责。自己的决定

最近的我，真是病惨了我。发高烧，上吐下泻，喉咙肿，伤风，咳嗽....etc 

舍都有！

我从意大利“肥”来了！

大家好！由于现在已是凌晨的关系，又好想po一下，但有碍于明天是工作天，就非常无聊的在这里跟大家说声，我从意大利“肥”来了！那里很好玩！只是食物就有点.......还是自己国家最棒！好啦！就到这。放几张照片让你们欣赏欣赏。跑人！

Florence

The Leaning Tower - Pisa

Venice

Milan

Rome

无聊的一po

时间如箭！这好像不是我的型！

（嗑嗑）

好！我想说的是，原来真的可以一眨眼就过了将近5个月

在这5个月里，说实话，没干什么大事真的。

除了，申请还有考试，就是工作。

生活郁闷到一个不行！不过渐渐爱上这种简单。

不过，就是缺少了点............热情！

再过两天，要去意大利玩咯！

心情平静得好像佛堂里的大师.

就是找不到像之前到上海的那种激动.

难于形容的“那种激动” (算了！原谅我吧!)

也许是知道了意大利是所有扒手的世界，所以有些担心！

眼看朋友一个个接着出国念书，出社会工作，有些还赶上结婚的轨道，还有生孩呗

就觉得时间真的不留人.

上一秒你还在和他或她嘻嘻哈哈地谈着从前，下一分钟，就被告知要出国念书。

上一个星期你还在某个商店遇到他或她，另一天，就被邀请到她的结婚派对。

你说人生儿戏不儿戏？

最近在围脖看到了这样一个算是“格言”的句子：

别和小人过不去，因为他们本来就过不去；

别和社会过不去，因为你会过不去；

别和自己过不起，因为一切都会过去；

别和往事过不去，因为他们已经过去；

别和现实过不去，因为你还要过下去。

说到变化，我也渐渐习惯了.

也不想多说什么阿公阿嫲的故事了。

总之，一切随缘.

想努力的，尽量努力.

努力了却不及，就再随缘吧

说到修养，最近好像有点破功！超尼玛！

滚了！

2012年的第一次剪发，无可否认，剪后的确心情好的不得了

It takes long time to grow an old friend

you know what?!

"Never stop dreaming!"

It's the slogan from The North Face.

YESH! Malaysia is listed in the Alive World Tour of my baby boys.

All I've to do is to pray hardly, sincerely by my finger crossing.

that they will be here right before September.

As I told you guys, the blog readers, that I might not in Malaysia if I succeed for the study abroad matter.

Okay! I've been so rare to update my blog since Twitter is the easier way for me.

But......I still can't miss you, Blogger!

Not going to talk about my working stories. Nothing special except unchanging people, unchanging gossips topic, unchanging...etc. sigh

Okay! We just celebrated someone's 21st birthday last Saturday.

We did trick him like I planned to, just to surprise him.

And of course, he got fooled by us.

The party was enjoyable, delicious food, average fun.

The people were laughable, interesting and many more although we used to have a gap between us.

But we enjoyed.

What I wanna tell is the feelings.

I felt touched too when I create the idea and of course the present.

Although it was just cost about 20 bucks something just for the photo frame and the pictures for everyone who will involved.

But...........priceless!

Argh! 

show you guys a peak of the present.

Get to go. Working made me sleep earlier everyday. Is that a good thing? Perhaps.

" It takes long time to grow an old friend! "

;

Working is bored to me. Just like many ones else, I do have a Monday Syndrome, but a bit lighter than the life with study. You know, when the Sunday is going to an end, and here comes the Monday with same-old-work, faces the same old people, doing the same old paperwork, going to the same old places....etc. SO, I got to choose my University's course nicely, as I don't want join the Monday Syndrome's group. It's hard for me to make a pack to repeat what I'd been doing everyday. Can you imagine, you're doing the same things every weekdays in the coming 60 years (you have a long life, then perhaps).

Someone said that to me recently, "Do you think you're still living in your own space? I mean, yet, you're not in the world. The world is changing, especially the people beside us. "

Honestly, I am.

About this question, I am not surprised at all. Nothing else, just a fact for myself.

I chose to stay calm and eyes-closed doesn't mean that I'm afraid to accept the changes.

I guess I'm a bit over. bye

Hold it back

不可以。就是不可以说累。

为了梦想，我不能停。

我只能什么都听不见。

我只能什么都感受不到。

我知道，舍不得。

为了我的执著，我只能坚持。

我只能不断地努力，努力着。

我追，是因为我渴望。

我不想，以后才来后悔和埋怨。

以后，可能会有受伤的时候。

但为了梦，受伤那么一点，算得了什么？

为了保护我的信仰，我只能更加地坚持。

因为我相信，

" You are the one, that keep your dreams alive." 

But you will never know, if you don't really try." 

你好吗？我还好。

想po个内心的，但想想觉得别人没必要读你的内心场白吧。
但还是想说说近来的生活。
没别的，就无聊地工作着。
考试完了，旅行去了，成绩拿了。
也该想想自己的方向。

我讨厌没有目标的活着。
所以，锁定了想要出国的念头。
没别的，就想履行曾承诺过自己的事情。
虽然受到很多人的旁白，但还得坚持啊！
不然，以后怎么活下去。

浪费吗？拿了那么不错的成绩，竟然选择出国。
说真的，我拼了命地读，也只不过想证明自己可以到哪里。
现在证明了，我也没什么好遗憾了。
毕竟，那一年半的日子，不是好过的。

老实说，虽然目标定了，课程也想好了，但。。。
还是不能百分之百确定是不是自己想要的。
也许，在向前走的路时，我才会更了解自己多一些。
我不怕犯错，我只怕后悔。
所以，现在只能多做自己想做的事情。

说实在的，人在世，还是多做一些让自己开心的事。
当然，也别忘了身边的人。
没有什么事比“后悔”来得更捶心捶肺了。

惜。福

在布置房间的时候，多手地拍了下来，（我老兄与我）

updated, finally!

Since the last post was the day before I fly to Sabah.

Alright, here some update for the reader(although i knw just a little of that)

I'm back from Sabah for more than 1 month of course.

And had my Chinese New Year right after the trip.

I enjoyed myself a lot in the trip.

And of course I realized it's doesn't matter where you're going, it's about who you're going with.

That's the point.

Everything in Sabah is beautiful.

Unlike West Malaysia, you can just walk on the street without awareness.

I mean no one will come and grab your handbag suddenly.

the place was so beautiful and peaceful for me.

I love the trip not only the beauty view, and also feeling

It's been a long time we gathered together like this.

I love when we snorkeled together in the 2 island.

I love when have my para-sailing with my dearest. 

I love when riding the only-one-fall banana boats with the loudest one.

I love when forest climbing with full of shouting, even there was many Koreans there.

I love when the moment we had our canopy walk which like the end of world is coming.

I love when we bumped into the "Rock Pool" just because the hot spring were not enough for us.

I love when we changed the same rumah school t-shirt and walked around the KK.

I love when we hang out in the night for some dancing and beers.

I love when we sneaked to other places for some drinking with 3 gossip buddies.

I love when we bought and cook breakfast for ourselves.

I love when we reach the beach 4 hours earlier just to watch the sunset.

I love when we met a Taiwan-Indonesian couple and make fun with them.

I love when we dance and got recorded just to wait for the sunset.

I love when we drank like a rich guy beside the beach with the RM10.00 coconut.

I love when we walk for more than 30 minutes after the sunset just to have our Peking Duck.

I love when we played like someone who haven't been to playground before. 

I love when we played the heart attack card games and laugh like tanjung rambutan's patience.

I love when we keep on xin ji here and there.

I love everything in Sabah.

Here's some photos which I love the most.

I'll try to detail the Shanghai trip.

Thank you, everyone. Have a great day :) 

Re-demo to Sabah trip.

And yet, still got 5 hours left,

and I need to go LCCT for my Sabah trip.

Hope everything will be fine.

I mean, the weather, the games, the peoples and also THE PLAN!

Wait for my updates ya

KK here I come! :D

P/S: damn tired for the whole day house cleaning. CNY maaa

过期了

再一次，把歌听完。

同样的歌，

同样的歌词，

同样的对象，

同样听的人，

但这次的感觉，已经很不一样了！

原来，感觉已经慢慢，慢慢地随着时间，过期了。

再怎样地回味，都寻找不到当时的“五味”

我，终于醒了。

其实，很早很早的时候，就已经醒了

只是不想那么快就放下

好了！

适可而止。

晚安

心·语

有时候不是不懂，只是不想懂；
有时候不是不知道，只是不想说出来；
有时候不是不明白，而是明白了也无能为力，于是就保持了沉默。

有些话，适合藏在心里；
有些痛苦，适合无声无息的忘记；
有些回忆，只适合偶尔拿出来回味。

很多事情，当经历过，自己知道就好；
很多改变，不需要说出来的，自己明白就好。

正在播放：周杰伦 - 我落泪情绪零碎

Happy Halloween!

Today is the Halloween night. Normally, we don't celebrate but I wish to celebrate, cause it looks fun! Anyway, today is the last day of October, but I hope today is the last day of November. Always thinking about what'll happen right after my STPM, makes me energize and motivated! I guess everyone needs goal to urge themselves and me too! Nothing to blog as it was the same thing also. Oh ya! Photography club's farewell party just held in few days ago in Puchong and I guess nothing much for me to post about that party.(click here for photos) In fact, I thought the restaurant was very grand and luxury before we went, but.....Okay, it do grand and luxury, especially a Big Red Ferrari was catching everyone spotlight, but you know what, waiter's attitude always the prior. Perhaps this "Standard" restaurant not suit us! Using an iPad to make some order is good, but please be sure that your iPad is functioning always! So, another BAD here! Fine. Thinking positively I found a lot of great restaurant in Puchong. Let's have some try with my buddies next time. Okay. It's 2.40am. Good night, peeps!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN !

;

I got this when I was reading newspaper.

人，一定要想清楚三个问题：

一，你有什么；二，你要什么；三，你能放弃什么。你有什么，是评价自己现状。要什么，是明确自己目标。最难的事，自己不知道或不敢放弃什么！

这点恰恰能决定自己想要实现的目标是否能实现。没有人可以不放弃就能得到！

and that, I guess it was my second one. I'm still finding the third one. 

My econ's teacher keep on remind us about the countdown.

I used to be nervous and anxious about the day coming during last few month

but now? chill and relax.

When I was thinking I will study abroad in China, there have no needed for me to study so hard right?

Ya, I got my co curricular marks today.

The CGPA was below 60. even lower than those who bla bla blaaaa. WHATEVER

okay, I don't want to mention who was "those"

What I wanna say is, I'm so slacked about activities in my form 6 life.

maybe the effect of too many band life in my secondary life.

okay. done.

I got my 3.08 for my trial. and it's over 3.

I was not so excited actually.

In fact, I heard the school lower the grade purposely.

maybe it was just the luck.

59 for a B-

luck I guess.

I always wonder how much shall I get for the real exam.

Let's pray. I just hope it will over 3 for indeed.

not much. 1 or 2A are enough for me.

I don't feel to study today.

but the time is countdowning.

but still don't fell to study.

I'm imagining the day after 14 Dec everyday

but I guess I will miss the life. of course.

I hate the life with jobs.

back to the 1st and 2nd option. both are secret.

now playing - Manhand    -准时收听

hiking

I kept telling myself, "One more month!" 

Ya! One more month left.

You're nearer to the hell and heaven

It's remind me when Ms.Lim said the story of hiking.

It's totally the kind of feeling right now.

When you're going to reach the peak, you must pass through the most slanting road.

The slanting path always makes people gave up even though it just a few step to success.

She said," Luckily I got one professor who kept on telling me, 5 more minutes! 5 more minutes!"

Actually is 1 hour more.

But you'll never forget how beautiful the view is right after you climb over the peak.

I just hope when I reached the peak, the view won't be too bad 

=)

致弟弟的一封信

好轻易地离去 

轻易得让我不肯相信这就是事实

我没有其他人的仁慈

我没有我伯伯的宽宏大量。

如果换作是我，

我不可能对你说：“请不要自责，我们不会怪你！”

我说不出口

年纪不是借口。

是生命。

用生命来交换的原谅，代价太大的。

没有人知道你下半辈子都在做什么，

但，

愧疚，

应该是你下半辈子的负担。

不敢哭得太惨，

因为我不是应该最伤心的那个。

弟弟，

我的心很痛。

大家的心都很痛。

痛死了。

想到，就很痛。

不敢哭，

因为我们都怕你走得不好。

弟弟，

我的心很痛。

大家的心很痛

就这样，没了。

没了。

这是奶奶跟我说的

不重要

都不重要了。

所有想要坚持，想要奢有的东西

都不重要了。

没有什么比自己身边的人待身边还要幸福了！

都不重要了。

我只想要，我想要他呆在身边的人可以好好的，

我什么都可以了。

弟弟啊

只希望你要好好庇佑非常爱你的家人

 也请你啊，

下辈子过得快乐点，平安点，开心点，可以享受说不能享受的。

哥哥姐姐们都会想你的。

我们都会想你的

希望你，

在另一个世界可以很好很好的，

很好很好地过生活。

 不要有挂念！  

一路好走

姐姐会想你的。

毓筠姐姐上

走了








。

never been so bad before

now playing : DBSK - Insa

It's now October and I felt I was even more nearer to hell and heaven.

I shouldn't blog for the time being now.

but still.....

ya. I've been blowing off how miserable my stpm life is.

and now I'm still the same situation.

can't stop thinking the day without stress of exam

I mean, everyone have stress in every stage.

but how come I didn't sense it will be so terrible during last time.

it's the worst I swear.

back to the first sentence

I was even more nearer to hell and heaven

I guess many ones will get what I wanna say easily.

time flies.

stpm is coming nearer and nearer to me.

this is the hell.

and of course freedom is coming after the nightmare

this is the heaven.

I don't know is this the stress?

I don't know how come I will surface it so terribly now.

until I wanna bang my head badly, headache.

maybe it was the process.

I heard someone said that "Transformation always painful"

and now, I hoped everything I did was worth.

I don't want to talk about my result.

as there've nothing for me to be proud at all.

I mean, I did worse than the last time.

I can't blame teacher, but I did.

I should work hard more.

but you know sometimes, I felt so tired being working hard with no border line.

receiving the wrong information.

i was exhausted.

 1 more month to go.

god bless me.

courage me.

please

I know, I should appreciate as

it was the gift of God.

so, I should say thank you right?

after this please.

感慨

如果有如果，我想问你，为什么就那么不珍惜生命？

一通突如其来的电话，把我们一家人的心情搞砸了！

尤其是我读书的心情！

发生事故，大家都慌了！

尤其是她们那一家。

幸运总是不怎么站在他们那边。

命水，这回事，真的，认了！

刚想起去年我们的谈话，

顿时觉得向来不怎么和我们聊天的堂弟，

有好多我没有的感慨

觉得失败，是我突如其来的感觉。

应该珍惜。

凡是都要珍惜。

哪怕让自己伤心生气地事情也要珍惜！

random updated

Trial is coming. 

I don't think I can handle well.

sigh. 

exhausted!