Sunday, June 7




不想为了你而恶化了我的夜盲症 。





Tuesday, April 21

[MV] PRIMARY(프라이머리), OHHYUK(오혁) _ Bawling

Primary is always awesome.
This is so sexy.
irresistible SEXY 
sound like John Legends. VIBE
Vibe is so good and makes me FEEL
But please don't label this as kpop
looooooove this.

Saturday, April 4

I hate selling my emotion.

to him: 

he makes me feel crazy. he makes me that I'm the fault. it was so pain 

you might be right but I don't care.

you scattered me into pieces.

but sometimes you shining me like Venus.

the future that we hold is so unclear.

this was more like modem fairy-tale 

and everyone keep telling me there are always happen ending. 

to myself: 

Am i really in love 

or am I dating to break up

once again , it comes to me 

this happen ending

Tuesday, March 3








Tuesday, January 27

2 more days and it will be fucked off!

You have the most "ridiculous" reason and you know I actually buy it. I can't imagine I just turned out to be like a bitch just to cry shit, talk shit and do shit to you. Girls are bitch, ya they turned out to be like a bitch for guy who just like you. This is true. Relationship is hard, just look at our parents, they ain't easy at all. And now I realize how hard this relationship to be continued.

 I know I'm harsh because I'm always out of mind when you're not me. Friends asked to communicate for problems. Ya. wanna meet each other already been so hard what about communicating for problems? And you know what actually happened among us. The snowball is rolling bigger and bigger. The begining of  2015 is already frustrated. why more? 

It always been so normal when comes to day, but again it's come to greet me, this is the happen ending.

Ya 2 more days and it will be fucked off!

Friday, May 16

we backpacks to MONGGOL for food!

 I just drop by and upload some photos for the previous blog. ENJOY

Picture aboves proved that I'd gain weight and of course you knw why, right? 

Thursday, May 15

its all blue skies and white clouds

For the friends or families or followers (all the f-people) who know me, I'd been travel to Nei Monggol, part of China, and I'm alive here. I feel hydrated for the first day I went. It was a backpack one, so no cream or any extra girl things brought so my skin were really under construction all the time. The feeling is kinda weird to describe in words and emotion but the luckiest thing I did for the trip as memorable was I snap video just like I did for my Sabah trip v my beloved buddies. I went with my homie (Malaysian-ZJU-er) and there just me and her at the desert and every single place in Nei Monggol, except the city thing. I mean urban area. So I just said it was a backpack one, we didn't shower for several days, when I say shower of course including brush-teeth those intimate-activity NO. The circumstances and places there didnt allow us to do it so WOW, I made this for the first time. We pee and shit just outside the place we stayed (Mongolia-house) where no one beside us, we climbed up to the rock at the night for the stars-watching and woke up in the early 4AM for the sunrise. We undergo for all the temperature that we can and it was torturing at first but FUN for remembering memories. hehehe.We ate alot of lamb and this was the one of our main reason we went there, we hunt for food every time by using apps hahah. And please trust me , IT WAS ALL BLUE SKIES AND WHITE CLOUD EVERYWHERE. While living and studying in city, mask-covering and those hazey skies were tiring me. So the place amazed me. The transportation, horn and city-noise sometimes pissed me off so I yelled and shouted like a crazy one when I saw sheep and horse everywhere and they re so free. They eat and they shit, they drink and they pee as they like. They have no problem to go back to their house. The place at that just like the other planet for all the city-living people, just like me. I had my first time horse-riding and it took about 2 hours something. I guess they pissed me off I mean the horse, becoz they gotta carry me when they still have their breakfast. They were so tame and the people in the city were so good. The sheep were so shy and I even met them the other day after I have my staying at the Mongo field. First time touching their hairy hair and their skin, they are so nature. zoo or aquarium, neither of them I like it, because they're not free. I even talked to them when we have horse-riding and playing and hanging around the field. The feeling was good. how stupid! hahahah

I blogged this one at the library without my hard-disc here so less picture to post. 

P/S: Oh yeshh! I finally logged to blogger in China. I miss my blog very badly :')
P/SS: Forgive for my poor english. I have not been write and speak English for 2 years. :'( 

Wednesday, February 19


但不知怎地 就会有些失意的时候

但不知怎地 就会有不甘的时候

但不知怎地 就会有恐惧的时候

但不知怎地 就是一直阴天没停过

但不知怎地 就是想要更贪心地得到更多的祝福

我若可以 我还是会选择 
我若可以 我还是会放纵自己
我若可以 我想更勇敢
我若可以 我想改写历史 哪怕是你 还是我 或者我们俩
我若可以 我想比你更不顾一切 
我若可以 我想炫耀

Monday, February 10

It has to be you

It's ironic when you are passion to share your stories (BF) but there were so many reason you just shut you mouth up and swallow it yourself. Nothing much. Just be myself and have some sharing session of our stories to the family and friends, but I felt difficult. It's funny when your family still treat you as a child and always tell you [in a warning/guidance/lecture way, but they always thought that will just a "suggestion"] what-to-do's or not-to-do's. And here some fact: After coming back for the celebration of Chinese New Year of 2014, a lot of people got shock that I turned so thin (slimmer leg and stomach i guess), and I always answered with most "official" answer which is, "I control my eat". Actually I'm not. I feel stressed just like I did when I was in the Form 6 so I can't gain weight. In contrast, I can't sleep well when the last semester started in last September and I just don't know why. I have anything the human being deserved to have, complete body and organs; I have my beloved family and friends and of course the boyfriend; perfect circumstances to study and live in comfort situation and it mostly perfect. Final answer: I'm so sentimental! 

I feel guilt when I always feel to go back China. I don't mean that I live better life in China (in fact, yes for sometimes), home is the best always lahh. It was about boundaries and restrain of my personality and my love. The adaption of culture shock has over. At least I can talk and "show-off" about him with my friends but not hiding like rat or someone who just did a crime or what. At least I can just take the bus, train and metro to meet him when weekends came, and I know I'm not willing to go back. At least I can hold his hand tight and we can walk to some little shop or cook ourselves. At least I can feel his warm or his cuddle will always the finest pill for my sleep. At least he can drive or take train to take care for me just because I'm having migraine. At least, I don't have to hide my feeling. I am so proud of my boyfriend. I don't like to hide any of my feeling towards other including my loved one, family or friends. Just because he is good so I just can't stop to talk about him but I feel retarded in front of my family. I'm not hiding, I'm just finding some better way, but it was difficult. Falling in love with him will sometimes makes me feel like I'm doing a serious crime. Even the most normal things that the couple will be doing , I has to filter and filter again when spoken. I know they're try to protect me but their blessing were the most wanted thing ever. 

I hate camouflage. but I'm doing the things that I hate the most everyday. I think that was one of the reason I'm getting little peaky. I miss my roommate. She's the one who always give the better idea and we always have our sharing session.

I miss the silly one already :( 

Tuesday, November 5

MY 21ST!

We know each other since last year Nov, and the 02-11-2013 was the first anniversary we've met, not the together one. We met each other when he just sat beside me in a flight although he was not suppose to sit beside but he did and I just don't know maybe he just did not want to sit beside the girl they came with IDK. I'm on my way for granny's funeral and he's on his way for vacation and we just know each other. The entire 5 hours flight, we just can't stop to talk. This is crazy, you know? I know. teeheee :D Well. If someone just asked you,"Are you crazy in mind?" I will definitely said,"Why not?" I don't know how to explain sometimes, just poured a smile toward and that's all. No boyfie thing again here.

Let't talk about how am I celebrated my belated birthday, that's a good question right? hehehe. I went to Shanghai and celebrated with my boyfie(sorry for mentioning him again). He gave me pairs or earring & necklace and we went to some France cuisine and a lot of travel in Shanghai and I thought this was the romantic one and that's all. He gave me accompany from Shanghai to Hangzhou by giving some lousy excuse and I did believe him and let's the story began. When we reached my campus, I said bye-bye to my boyfie outside the dorm and he just turned his head away like he was in a rush, I even went to the kitchen and peak on him but I can't found him at all. Well, I guess that's its so I stepped back to my dorm and met my friend in the kitchen, she was holding her iphone. When I opened my door and stepped in, my door just closed itself, i thought its was wind or what. I try to switch on the light, no lights turn on and I thought my roomie forgot to pay. A cellphone on my desk keep rang and it was my roomie's cellphone.(no curiosity at all because she always left her cellphone at room)Well, I guess outside will be better, so I turned around and try to open my door, but the stupid door is pulled by someone outside and I finally figured out something happened, my washroom was locked and I can't pull my door open. DUH! "I've been pranked!" A ping-pong ball suddenly pop out in the room and I had no idea where the ping-pong ball came from and the projector is ON. The horror movie "Conjuring" was screening on my wall and I was like...."okay, played in a horror way!". Please don't think that they got me. When yeehor came out and say "AHHHHHHHHH" I was like....."Hey! Someone is calling this phone, Sandy(my roomie)"  and other peoples came in and start blabbered "Oh my god! why the heck this fella called in this moment? Why the internet is not functioning??!@!@#!@#$@#$@#" Hahahahahahahahahahahaha 

And after all they make it for the second times, I walked back to the corridor and started to pretend that nothing happened before, but I left my keys inside. HAHAHAHAHAHA It's that still make sense? hahahaha IDK,  I felt fun! I met my boyfie with my friend who holded an iphone just now at the corridor and I finally know what's really going on! 

Second try? U can imagine how funny will be. BTW, I did appreciate what they have did to me, they tried and tried for N times and mine was the worst. I love you all guys and the boyfie who hidden this secret all the way I was beside him. hmmmmmph!