we backpacks to MONGGOL for food!

 I just drop by and upload some photos for the previous blog. ENJOY

Picture aboves proved that I'd gain weight and of course you knw why, right? 

TEEHEEEEEEE CIAO!

its all blue skies and white clouds

For the friends or families or followers (all the f-people) who know me, I'd been travel to Nei Monggol, part of China, and I'm alive here. I feel hydrated for the first day I went. It was a backpack one, so no cream or any extra girl things brought so my skin were really under construction all the time. The feeling is kinda weird to describe in words and emotion but the luckiest thing I did for the trip as memorable was I snap video just like I did for my Sabah trip v my beloved buddies. I went with my homie (Malaysian-ZJU-er) and there just me and her at the desert and every single place in Nei Monggol, except the city thing. I mean urban area. So I just said it was a backpack one, we didn't shower for several days, when I say shower of course including brush-teeth those intimate-activity NO. The circumstances and places there didnt allow us to do it so WOW, I made this for the first time. We pee and shit just outside the place we stayed (Mongolia-house) where no one beside us, we climbed up to the rock at the night for the stars-watching and woke up in the early 4AM for the sunrise. We undergo for all the temperature that we can and it was torturing at first but FUN for remembering memories. hehehe.We ate alot of lamb and this was the one of our main reason we went there, we hunt for food every time by using apps hahah. And please trust me , IT WAS ALL BLUE SKIES AND WHITE CLOUD EVERYWHERE. While living and studying in city, mask-covering and those hazey skies were tiring me. So the place amazed me. The transportation, horn and city-noise sometimes pissed me off so I yelled and shouted like a crazy one when I saw sheep and horse everywhere and they re so free. They eat and they shit, they drink and they pee as they like. They have no problem to go back to their house. The place at that just like the other planet for all the city-living people, just like me. I had my first time horse-riding and it took about 2 hours something. I guess they pissed me off I mean the horse, becoz they gotta carry me when they still have their breakfast. They were so tame and the people in the city were so good. The sheep were so shy and I even met them the other day after I have my staying at the Mongo field. First time touching their hairy hair and their skin, they are so nature. zoo or aquarium, neither of them I like it, because they're not free. I even talked to them when we have horse-riding and playing and hanging around the field. The feeling was good. how stupid! hahahah

I blogged this one at the library without my hard-disc here so less picture to post. 

P/S: Oh yeshh! I finally logged to blogger in China. I miss my blog very badly :')
P/SS: Forgive for my poor english. I have not been write and speak English for 2 years. :'( 

我若可以

总觉得跟着自己心总没错

但不知怎地 就会有些失意的时候

发闷还是兴奋 

总觉得坚持所要的总没错

但不知怎地 就会有不甘的时候

坚持还是放弃

总觉得相信所坚持的总没错

但不知怎地 就会有恐惧的时候

踏出还是怯步

总觉得雨过会天晴的时候

但不知怎地 就是一直阴天没停过

怪不得彩虹总是美妙

总觉得栽进里面都是甜蜜的时候

但不知怎地 就是想要更贪心地得到更多的祝福

怪不得人总是不知足

我若可以 我还是会选择 

我若可以 我还是会放纵自己

我若可以 我想更勇敢

我若可以 我想改写历史 哪怕是你 还是我 或者我们俩

我若可以 我想比你更不顾一切 

我若可以 我想炫耀

我若可以 

It has to be you

It's ironic when you are passion to share your stories (BF) but there were so many reason you just shut you mouth up and swallow it yourself. Nothing much. Just be myself and have some sharing session of our stories to the family and friends, but I felt difficult. It's funny when your family still treat you as a child and always tell you [in a warning/guidance/lecture way, but they always thought that will just a "suggestion"] what-to-do's or not-to-do's. And here some fact: After coming back for the celebration of Chinese New Year of 2014, a lot of people got shock that I turned so thin (slimmer leg and stomach i guess), and I always answered with most "official" answer which is, "I control my eat". Actually I'm not. I feel stressed just like I did when I was in the Form 6 so I can't gain weight. In contrast, I can't sleep well when the last semester started in last September and I just don't know why. I have anything the human being deserved to have, complete body and organs; I have my beloved family and friends and of course the boyfriend; perfect circumstances to study and live in comfort situation and it mostly perfect. Final answer: I'm so sentimental! 

I feel guilt when I always feel to go back China. I don't mean that I live better life in China (in fact, yes for sometimes), home is the best always lahh. It was about boundaries and restrain of my personality and my love. The adaption of culture shock has over. At least I can talk and "show-off" about him with my friends but not hiding like rat or someone who just did a crime or what. At least I can just take the bus, train and metro to meet him when weekends came, and I know I'm not willing to go back. At least I can hold his hand tight and we can walk to some little shop or cook ourselves. At least I can feel his warm or his cuddle will always the finest pill for my sleep. At least he can drive or take train to take care for me just because I'm having migraine. At least, I don't have to hide my feeling. I am so proud of my boyfriend. I don't like to hide any of my feeling towards other including my loved one, family or friends. Just because he is good so I just can't stop to talk about him but I feel retarded in front of my family. I'm not hiding, I'm just finding some better way, but it was difficult. Falling in love with him will sometimes makes me feel like I'm doing a serious crime. Even the most normal things that the couple will be doing , I has to filter and filter again when spoken. I know they're try to protect me but their blessing were the most wanted thing ever. 

I hate camouflage. but I'm doing the things that I hate the most everyday. I think that was one of the reason I'm getting little peaky. I miss my roommate. She's the one who always give the better idea and we always have our sharing session.

I miss the silly one already :(