Please give me some guidance

What I actually scare of?

Since the day I stepped in the school.

Many things have forced to change without permissions.

Make me can't even concentrate about anything 100%.

I told myself perhaps it's the only way for you to fix in the different situation

Fail.fail.fail and failure.

I'm so tired and pissed off sometimes.

Can't even bear or keep forward.

A lot of trash is stucked just because the malfunction of recycle bin.

I told myself. not to be again.

But you know it's hard to control yourself for not being again.

Because you're there daily.

not monthly or weekly or annually. its daily.

Go somewhere else alone that can make a little breather for me.

I used to stand at the corridor and try to make my sight as far as possible.

Trying to absorb more and more sunlight that can kill my germs away.

and O2 make me fresh always.

but anything come back when I get in the class.

It's doesn't has any changes.

Serious, I hope to change always.

at least a little bit for me.

change to be good and nice please.

I know, dream is the future.

If you don't dream and perhaps you don't even have any future.

I can said that, because I am.

Lost. I don't like myself to be in this word.

In fact, I'm lost.

about the motivation.

about the dream.

about the future.

about the meaning.

about the time.

about myself.

and about love of course.

I'm so tired and sleepy but still can't get in to sleep.

Information overloaded. even though the nerves is full booking.

just to think about those rubbish

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

about million. billion. or trillion times I wanna shout like that.

It's really a sick sick sicked YeeYun here.

I need some support now.

"Please give me some guidance"

-Crossing hand when I say this-