back again

Doh! everything was the fault of this seems-to-be-open-society-but-its-quite-orbit-all-the-time country. No facebook, no twitter, no blogger since I'm using my smartphone, what can I do? Rely to the software that I got in here(weibo,QQ) fuck! what to do? Neglect the software that I used to have over there(twitter,facebook,blogger...). fuck! I'm not in Aussie; I'm not in UK. and I'm not in Malaysia. I'm just in this panda land. what to do. restricted website everywhere, restricted contents everywhere, restricted news everywhere. The people of this land filtered all the news and information which comes from the outside; they personalized the things that come in to their land, they controlled everything which comes from the source .what to do. and I'm still studying mass com stuff at this restricted country. It wasn't my daddy's choice; it wasn't my mommy's choice; it wasn't my school's choice, it's all about me. 

I'm swearing I didn't mean to complain it as I'm not a Singaporean (no-offense, oops!) I'm used to it already. The language, the subject, the people, the weather and so on. I'm used to it already. But tons of questions circling my mind always, how can the fate of this country will be if they keep continue being so "deaf" about the world. I won't mind to admit that this country is strong, but doesn't it seems to be a little sicked already? No. should be injured (seriously damaged). I just read some sentences last few days, they said, "The personality of a person is definitely the result of the society". I always glad that I was born in Malaysia. I always glad that I was in this land which fulfilled with millions of passion and spirit, I love my country not because of the weather (maybe-yes), not because of the food (maybe yes too), as I love every part and every pieces of this land. Maybe I can make it like this, the culture and environment made up my personality and bla bla bla. I can't state it down one by one, because it was too many.

So how am I right nw? I'm doing fine. Status is kind of changing recently, everyone. so take note. I'm going off for class. bye!

P/S: Can't imagine I'm blogging during class. teeheeee :D

I coloured this during the Spring (It was the flag of my country and state)

nowplaying: The Script - No words

祁求您了！

我很怕，就好像六年前一样。

那时候不懂事，还没那么怕。

我现在光想都觉得好可怕。

怕得不停地流眼泪。

擦干了，又再湿了。 

我只希望，没有事情。

不想说如果或是万一。

人，健健康康就好。

以后的事情，我不敢奢望，

我只要一家人整整齐齐，健健康康就好。

祁求您了！

Fo0oL

You're Ridiculous thus Hilarious! Can I ask you something? Are you still thinking that I will stay still just like the past two years? I keep smirked when you send me those foolish texts to my cellphone asking me whether still had the same feeling like you? I admit to you that I USED TO have something on you, I waited and waited your message by day and day last time, and I thought I'll be alright when you said you have the same crush on me but you still hanging someone else there. I don't wanna mess all these things up, and I think it's just the nearness of us, that's its. Just like I texted you, "yes of course I did miss you or why I came for contact you by sudden, but we're just friend and of course the feeling was just friend, am I right? We're nothing but just friend, right?" And what you answered me was like some dirty badass slut. C'mon! I don't own any promise to you just like you don't gave me any answer of yours. You played the fool and now declared as a truth? Don't mess with me! I had enough! Thinking about the past and I swear I gonna and already change! We are never ever ever getting back together! Just like what #TaylorSwift sang! Ain't that same shit! Go fuck yourself or the girl you want to when you need LOVE! Foo-0-ooL WOW!

tiny countdown

1 days and 12 hours and the 30 minutes,  I will be on the plane, and going back to my LAND.

You never know how time flies!

A LONG po-st

I was more than months for not blogging, but please don't try to think that I'll shut down my blog. It's been about 4 months that I usually type in Mandarin, write in Mandarin, speak in Mandarin but not ENGLISH, so please do forgive my grammar, vocabulary and so on. You know it's hard to find someone to talk in english, as I'm in China. sigh. 4 months separation for my hometown and I was like.......A GOT LOT THINGS TO SHARE.

Remember that how I hesitated and wondered the choice that I made, and I can confirm hat maybe it's a stupid or fool decision that I made for myself, but I REALLY ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH. You know sometimes you have to choose something that will kill you softly, I mean the lifestyle that we can easily fucked up. hahaha! But the main point is, I did enjoyed the life that will kill my softly. okayy, I just kidding btw. I'm doing fine everyone. Still remember the hardcore times that I'd undergo, and that was what we call CULTURE SHOCK, everyone. Did I tell you that I used to tearing when I can't find my roommate beside when I was awake, as she went for class? Oops! yupe, I guess everyone will did that right? Did I ever tell you that when I finally can call my daddy, but can't really talk nicely to him, because I was crying beside the phone, and so as my dad did. What you think? Maybe someone will just said the same things that my parents told me. I'm telling you that, I am chameleon! 

So HAPPY 2013, guys. Especially for the one who is still reading my blog. About the end of the world, I have nothing to say, but I used to believe it last time. Who cares? As long as we're still alive, except my  dearest nanny. Sort of missing her right now. Yupe, she passed away last October, and I rushed back to Malaysia. It was like............ptttffkkk! (Keep for myself) I MISS HER. Okay, get back to that. For definitely everyone got their life contented when they started their University life. You're out of control. Well, I mean parental control. teeheee! It's the time for all of us to study how to be a human being just for yourself. You have your world, you have to fix yourself, you have to study how to live, you're doing all these things just for yourself, but not someone else and so on. Okay, no philosophy i tau. 

So, I will be back to my hometown for not more than 23 days, so the bucket list will be done just a few days before my flight. aha! I wanna meet up my buddies and dearest, I wanna eat as many as I can, I wanna shop as tired as I can, I wanna drive wherever and whenever I want, I wanna gossip as I did last time and....! Okay, Its about 1 morning and I think I gonna stop here. I got eight thesis to complete and I was like HALLELUJAH!! WTF?! The first semester is killing me crazy! OMG! How long I blogged today. Goodnight, peeps :)

P.S: You know how hard to blog in China? 

Music Playing: The Script - Hall of Fame

寻短

他们说，因为是名校所以有人寻短是一件很平常的事情。可以想到的理由就是压力大，家人期望大，精神有问题，对人生的生死充满疑惑等。其实大学什么都没有，你要学的就是怎样做自己。怎么又绕到了哲学问题。好奇的是，为什么可以允许自己那么容易地放弃自己呢？他们很可怜，看似强大的国家，其实大部分的人民都不是很满意自己的现状，更何况是学生呢？所以，我很庆幸，真的！因为比起来，我很幸福了。我在如此健康快乐的环境中长大，我很谢谢我的家人还有我所遇过的人。他们所承担的压力和负担，是我们无法了解，虽然说着同样的语言，有着同样的皮肤，不过环境造就了很多元素，因此，路也大不相同。谢谢，我是马来西亚人。

还记得为什么自己会选择这条路，很清晰。我不想走别人的路，就这样。

大家好！我很好。

大家好！

好像几个月没碰部落格了

我来中国念书了多久，就有多久没碰啦！

怎样？

大家都还好吗？

我呢？

除了刚刚开始的不适应之外，其他都还好。

天气越来越冷了。

有空会多po的

你们知道，中国上网很麻烦的。

总的来说，我很好！

谢谢。

希望一切会很好。

希望一切会很好。　

希望未来会不错。（虽然过去也是不错）

希望接下来也不会太差。（应该不会差得过“那些日子”吧）

希望机遇会更多。（这个是一定要的．．．）

希望坚强会更久。（本人在这方面都是处于很努力的状态）

希望失望不会太多。（我的心，还很强壮）

希望自己可以更成长一些。（想要自己可以给自己买些经验。）

希望自己可以适当地想家。（虽然我很坚定我会无时无刻都在想）

希望家人都可以很平安健康快乐。

希望一切都会很好。

放心地追梦去吧！

只剩２天，各位！

我忙吗？

说我很闲，很明显，一点点。

但是，光想要怎样去整理，大包小包地打包就足够你想一天一夜了。

说得自己忙一些，其实只是不想再去办一些事情，好让别人主动一点。

我说得那么白话，我想是朋友的，都应该知道。

可惜，知道了是一回事，但往往都知道他们都是，你看我，我看你的态度。

所以，

如果没有，我也不是很意外，我也不会很介意，坦白说。

这几天我会努力地po，好让以后有个回味的地方。

威尼斯


夜了，散了！

人生没别的，总是需要一个人好好地活着

不想仔细去算算自己到底很剩多少时间可以浪费，就连现在怀着的心情都懒得去感觉，理清然后叙述。自己还能怎样地去利用这短短的数日，我想应该是浪费，和尽可能的做一些自己想做的奢侈的东东，是目前自己给自己的理由吧。在这空框的八个月里，我想了又想都是那几个问题，我想这就是所谓的“留学前焦虑症”吧！（自己发明的词，不过科学上是承认滴）唉！人生没别的，总是需要一个人好好地活着嘛！反正，船到桥头自然直嘛。

说真的，如果要好好地叙说现在的感觉，真的很长，很多。只不过不想那么肤浅地用三言两语来表达。唯一方法，就是不去想，不去感受，把它好好地收藏在心上就好，让他有个重量也好。（我好像提过了呼？）



其实，我还有九天。（明明说好，不算了吗？怎么又来了呢？）（没办法啊！不然怎么收拾行李？）
最近每次上到这里来时候，都不知要说些什么了！

25 days left

25 days left. 

刘心－一开始

词:易燃 刘心 曲:刘心

一开始总会在意别人对我说的话

一开始总会有情绪爱理不理的想法

可是我慢慢听啊 随着他变化变化

为什么还是有个声音叫我快些回家

你是不是也有过迷失自己的经历

付出了全部努力还是被别人看不起

但我没想过放弃 不停累积来证明

当我再回到这里 不多说什么你也会相信

over over 怎么能够 刚是梦开始的时候

我还是很相信我的一切 只因一份爱 让我疯 让我冲

坠落 坠落 怎么能够 忘记梦延续的势头

在那一座最高的山峰 你会看到我 看到我

聚光灯亮起 我已 迫不急待向前冲

准备了太久 现在自信心就快要爆棚

不想说太多 等我凯旋之后你自然会懂

走过困境现在换我给你光荣

感谢你对我说的每句话

都温暖了我要我别怕

一个全新的我已整装出发(已出发)

I WANNA SAY LOVE TO LOVE TO LOVE (WANNA SAY LOVE TO LOVE TO LOVE)

over over 怎么能够 刚是梦开始的时候

我从来没怀疑我的一切 只因一份爱 让我疯 让我冲

坠落 坠落 怎么能够 忘记梦延续的自由

在那一座最高的山峰 你会看到我 在回头

rap:从来都没这么相信 感觉自己就快成名

那时候我再看着你 谁在笑呢谁在哭呢我该说什么

把你的手借给我 把你的爱借给我

把全世界都给我 让我带着你和梦想飞过这山丘

over over 怎么能够 刚是梦开始的时候

我从来没怀疑我的一切 只因一份爱 让我疯 让我冲

坠落 坠落 怎么能够 忘记梦延续的自由

在那一座最高的山峰 你会看到我 在回头

最近如果觉得有些烦心或者有些迷失方向的朋友，不妨可以听听这首歌。

没啥目的，就想介绍好歌给大家

超励志又好听，无限循环。呵呵呵

【转载】倘若累了 用一个微笑 开始新的生活

给自己一个微笑、相信自己会挺过每一次的艰难、
　　
　　给自己一个微笑、相信自己会过得更好、

　给自己一个微笑、相信自己会很安静、没有杂乱、没有繁华、没有心跳、
　　
　　给自己一个微笑、相信自己会勇敢会接受、那残酷的现实、
　　
　　给自己一个微笑、相信自己的憧憬不再渺茫、不再无奈、
　　
　　给自己一个微笑、相信自己身边的人不会是虚伪不会是欺骗的代言词、
　　
　　给自己一个微笑、相信自己的一切都会好起来、而且会更好、
　　
　　给自己一个微笑、相信自己的难过自己的失望到最后都会换来快乐、
　　
　　给自己一个微笑、相信自己的未来会辉煌会有成就、
　　
　　给自己一个微笑、相信自己会长大、会成熟、会读懂一些人会看透一些事、
　　
　　一个微笑、代表着一份期待、
　　
　　一个微笑、代表着一个承诺、
　　
　　一个微笑、代表着一丝温暖、
　　
　　一个微笑、带给人们一份清新、
　　
　　是否会有那么一个人、用一个微笑代表着悲伤呢？
　　
　　不知道、我也不想知道、
　　
　　也许、许多年后、你会记得还有一个人这么笑过、
　　
　　用一个微笑悄然无声的走出了你们每个人的世界、
　　
　　那时的欢声，那时的笑语同，那时的痛，那时的泪、
　　
　　用一个微笑开始、同样也用一个微笑去结束、
　　
　　岁月如梭、
　　
　　一笑而过、
　　
　　有人说、人不能总活在回忆里、那样会在回忆里迷失了自己、
　　
　　用一个微笑、开始新的生活、
　　
　　仰望天空、
　　
　　星星给了我一个微笑、
　　
　　让我开始不再流泪、
　　
　　用一个微笑展示真正的自己、
　　
　　

矛盾

到了我们这种年龄，其实还真的蛮矛盾。该幼稚点还是该成熟点，自己也很苦恼。大步走还是停靠，自己都不知该如何是好。看着远方，可笑的是自己到底能走多远，坚持多久，然后大家就你看我，我看你，就这么地过了一年，也许有些人就真的这个样子过一生。

距离我去念书，也剩不到5个星期。豁达点！

犹豫

其实，难道自己要的是什么，都不知道吗？说白点， 其实心里早就有个底，只是欠缺一个可以把他合理化的角色，来支持我现在的决定。 所以犹豫。犹豫犹豫的，又让自己给闭了起来。

选择一：浙江大学

选择二：马大

选择三：理大

我想我知道了。

尊重。负责。自己的决定

最近的我，真是病惨了我。发高烧，上吐下泻，喉咙肿，伤风，咳嗽....etc 

舍都有！

我从意大利“肥”来了！

大家好！由于现在已是凌晨的关系，又好想po一下，但有碍于明天是工作天，就非常无聊的在这里跟大家说声，我从意大利“肥”来了！那里很好玩！只是食物就有点.......还是自己国家最棒！好啦！就到这。放几张照片让你们欣赏欣赏。跑人！

Florence

The Leaning Tower - Pisa

Venice

Milan

Rome

无聊的一po

时间如箭！这好像不是我的型！

（嗑嗑）

好！我想说的是，原来真的可以一眨眼就过了将近5个月

在这5个月里，说实话，没干什么大事真的。

除了，申请还有考试，就是工作。

生活郁闷到一个不行！不过渐渐爱上这种简单。

不过，就是缺少了点............热情！

再过两天，要去意大利玩咯！

心情平静得好像佛堂里的大师.

就是找不到像之前到上海的那种激动.

难于形容的“那种激动” (算了！原谅我吧!)

也许是知道了意大利是所有扒手的世界，所以有些担心！

眼看朋友一个个接着出国念书，出社会工作，有些还赶上结婚的轨道，还有生孩呗

就觉得时间真的不留人.

上一秒你还在和他或她嘻嘻哈哈地谈着从前，下一分钟，就被告知要出国念书。

上一个星期你还在某个商店遇到他或她，另一天，就被邀请到她的结婚派对。

你说人生儿戏不儿戏？

最近在围脖看到了这样一个算是“格言”的句子：

别和小人过不去，因为他们本来就过不去；

别和社会过不去，因为你会过不去；

别和自己过不起，因为一切都会过去；

别和往事过不去，因为他们已经过去；

别和现实过不去，因为你还要过下去。

说到变化，我也渐渐习惯了.

也不想多说什么阿公阿嫲的故事了。

总之，一切随缘.

想努力的，尽量努力.

努力了却不及，就再随缘吧

说到修养，最近好像有点破功！超尼玛！

滚了！

2012年的第一次剪发，无可否认，剪后的确心情好的不得了

It takes long time to grow an old friend

you know what?!

"Never stop dreaming!"

It's the slogan from The North Face.

YESH! Malaysia is listed in the Alive World Tour of my baby boys.

All I've to do is to pray hardly, sincerely by my finger crossing.

that they will be here right before September.

As I told you guys, the blog readers, that I might not in Malaysia if I succeed for the study abroad matter.

Okay! I've been so rare to update my blog since Twitter is the easier way for me.

But......I still can't miss you, Blogger!

Not going to talk about my working stories. Nothing special except unchanging people, unchanging gossips topic, unchanging...etc. sigh

Okay! We just celebrated someone's 21st birthday last Saturday.

We did trick him like I planned to, just to surprise him.

And of course, he got fooled by us.

The party was enjoyable, delicious food, average fun.

The people were laughable, interesting and many more although we used to have a gap between us.

But we enjoyed.

What I wanna tell is the feelings.

I felt touched too when I create the idea and of course the present.

Although it was just cost about 20 bucks something just for the photo frame and the pictures for everyone who will involved.

But...........priceless!

Argh! 

show you guys a peak of the present.

Get to go. Working made me sleep earlier everyday. Is that a good thing? Perhaps.

" It takes long time to grow an old friend! "

;

Working is bored to me. Just like many ones else, I do have a Monday Syndrome, but a bit lighter than the life with study. You know, when the Sunday is going to an end, and here comes the Monday with same-old-work, faces the same old people, doing the same old paperwork, going to the same old places....etc. SO, I got to choose my University's course nicely, as I don't want join the Monday Syndrome's group. It's hard for me to make a pack to repeat what I'd been doing everyday. Can you imagine, you're doing the same things every weekdays in the coming 60 years (you have a long life, then perhaps).

Someone said that to me recently, "Do you think you're still living in your own space? I mean, yet, you're not in the world. The world is changing, especially the people beside us. "

Honestly, I am.

About this question, I am not surprised at all. Nothing else, just a fact for myself.

I chose to stay calm and eyes-closed doesn't mean that I'm afraid to accept the changes.

I guess I'm a bit over. bye

Hold it back

不可以。就是不可以说累。

为了梦想，我不能停。

我只能什么都听不见。

我只能什么都感受不到。

我知道，舍不得。

为了我的执著，我只能坚持。

我只能不断地努力，努力着。

我追，是因为我渴望。

我不想，以后才来后悔和埋怨。

以后，可能会有受伤的时候。

但为了梦，受伤那么一点，算得了什么？

为了保护我的信仰，我只能更加地坚持。

因为我相信，

" You are the one, that keep your dreams alive." 

But you will never know, if you don't really try."