god-damn

okay. okay. one week gone, another week gone. Mom and brother came back from Turkey too, but my holiday's plan-to-do-revision screwed up. totally screw up. I keep watching variety show, drama, movies, sleep, twitter, facebook, outing, totally slacking around with no pen life. god. Please send someone to motivate me. Or maybe I need some bad result to be the rock and fire for me. I need motivation. Maybe I can conclude it is Play hard, work hard in this entire life. Damn. I'm so regretful right now, but still stay in front of the TV. god-damn. god-damn. I gotta go. schooling day tomorrow. byyeeeeeeee :(

fuck you! form 6

I hate form 6.

I hate form 6.

I hate form 6.

what I can comfortable myself is challenge do exist always.

I need someone who can give more strength.

damn.

i still hate form 6.

fuck you! form 6

life is totally unfair

We're the same creature in this world.

We're needing the same things in this world.

But we aren't having the same thing as you guys do

But, why are life so different in us?

I don't think is equal or fair.

Is that fool for us?

In fact, I'm stronger than I imagine.

But I'll be breaking down in the future.

Crying in somehow in the future.

Because can't stand for the circumstances anymore.

Please don't make mistakes that I'm the girl who are strong enough.

Attitude doesn't mean anything.

I don't show my weakness doesn't mean I ain't have any.

I din't cry doesn't mean I don't cry.

Seriously, I don't know what happen to my mind until now.

The only thing is My or Our road are harder than you guys.

You guys are so lucky to have such good guidance in your path.

All we can do now is stay strong and don't give up in anything.

But sometimes it's hard.

God. I almost cry now.

gtg bye!

friends pulak

Friends? I do care. 

But I found out, 

some friends are worth to care and mind, but some are not! 

We don't have the correlation, but we do need connect to each other always.

Sometimes, I may wonder which way supposed to think for those ignorance.

damn it.

who cares? for the thousand millions times for not read it.

because it's stink. awkward. and damn it.

Jesus, I'm going to sleep. 

bye.

go through your mind please =/

There will no one who love and concern about you forever, except your family. Don't get fooled, human.

Don't aspect someone will just love and care and concern about you forever, except your family including your wife. I don't mean to say something bad about the human being, just kind of truth when it just popped out in my mind suddenly. I won't believe in human's talk and promise. I guess they don't mean to make the promise seems like just the sweet words and honeyed phrases for the time being now. Maybe yes in the particular cases. maybe no in the random happening events. But I don't believe someone will love or falling in love forever on the same person in his or her whole life. C'mon, we still have a long page and journey to go further, I guess you've catch what I'm trying to story about. 

"What? You guess you just predict what will happen in the next time? You've predict who will you meet after that? You'll know human that you will meet the next is such a bitch or jackass? You've know that you will be the monk in the Shaolin Temple so you talk I LOVE YOU to me now? I don't like you to say like this to me. It's sound like some must-talk-words to any girl huh? Aren't you?" 

Anyway, I just ignore someone words since I don't really like that person. bye. goodnight.

Pissed me off

My confidence drop like hell into the drain after the ''granted'' badmintion-style teacher said those silly paragraphs that we're not supposing to listen in the time being now. drop like hell. and I know my tears was welling up like a fountain in my eyes, a short of not letting them drop down on my face. T_______T What the teacher say is so right, what the purpose I study in form 6. Something like a rock that just hurt my heart severely, thus make me can't even pick up my confidence. Nowadays, I'm so much struggle and suffered about what kind life am I passing? but just keep lying myself that i'll be okay after all. ya, i truly make myself be convinced in these kind of stupid words without any progressing, without confront the serious type of case. And yet, the chirping teacher just slapped my heart and again it's dripping with blood (not the real blood lahh) what I mean is I totally lost the motivation for being and holding faith in this kind of life, aimless, faithless, emotionless, simple-minded....etc

More, sometimes unable to bear of the stupid noisy clamoring class. I'm so scared I'll lost my tempered such as last time I did in school to my class. Are they blind or something else? aren't they can't figure out someone is trying to do their homework or revision? and that's the only one reason I don't like to attend to school. It's seems so meaningless without any purpose to school. Teacher don't even enter the class, talking nonsense or jesus in class, the chirping class, some annoying classmates, some supercillious-white-ball-look of the "gossipqueen"......blaaaaaahhh! TOTALLLLY PISSED ME OFFF! done.

U see, I'm still blogging here. Adui~

byee!

怎样？？？？

怎样？老娘现在很想揍人！怎样？本小姐现在很想象一直疯狗，咬人！怎样？你以为你是谁？刘德华还是梁朝伟？老娘现在好得很！老娘不屑你的喜欢，你的爱，你的所有。老娘现在也自由得很！不需要其他人的陪伴，朋友对我来说，目前已十分百分的足够!! 好心你，回到你所属的星球，就算回不去，也爬到世界最高的悬崖，跳下去。真是他妈的讨人厌！看到都想把去年所吃的食物，统统吐出来！三个字：“闪远点!!!” 你是闭路电眼吗？干吗拼了命死命盯着看？我恨不得打999求救！反胃反胃反胃！只差没把白眼给翻出来！我觉得我快要得精神病！真是他妈的后悔，干吗当初要那样！那时，我应该是头脑秀逗了吧！要不然就是由外星人植入了不属于我的晶片，然后利用我的躯壳干了一些恶心的事吧！应该是那样．．．．．对！就是那样！想到，都觉得恶心！噢噢噢噢，好想看医生．．．我应没事吧。。。。

;;;;;;;

What else you guys know?

Turn around to another girl indeed when your girl is away from you. 

that's the natural instinct that you guys belong and supposed will do. 

am i right? 

how many times of promise or sweet words you have given out but done nothing?

i still remember i have a sweet dream yesterday.

it's really a sweet dream.

but for me, it's totally an extravagant.

almost don't want to wake up this morning.

because it's just can happen during the DREAM only.

and for real I know,

once I awake, anything will melt into air.

at least 1 or 2 minute for me to sink in this kind of dream

you know, the feeling?

it will just happen in dream.

the feeling or some presage for you that said

:"You won't make it ever! ever!"

(and of course, i don't want to too)

The world will getting down if it just fulfilled with couples love only. Be steady lahhh human! 

 it's sucks. seriously sucks!

STALKER AROUND THE WORLD

HEY STALKER! DON'T COME AROUND ME PLEASE! 

I JUST WANNA THROW MY HANDPHONE INTO THE DRAIN!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU MAKE ME DISLIKE YOU INDEED!

CAN I CALL THE POLICE?

BECAUSE YOU'RE DAMN ANNOYING!

FUCK YOU!

F! F! F!

STUPID FOOD POISONING

I swear! I would rather have fever or migraine or cough until i can't walk or sore throat till i can't speak , but God did you hear me? both of them is so really okay than food poisoning! i am serious now please. please. I have no idea how many times i went to the toilet by having loose bowels? I can't even count how many times I have been throw up all my food in this short week. Did you hear it clearly? its continued for about a week since the last two day I'm in China. I guess I'll not forget how tortured am I in bus? Fever. Diarrhea. Vomiting and even migraine just because my body heated up. I can't even go anywhere and eat anything. I felt so awful and disgusting and so wanna smash myself so much when the memory keep flipped on to the food of the table. They look like remainder of the restaurant or maybe some garbage but already pack it nicely and put on the table for serve , even though they're really delicious. Owwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhh! don't remind me please. Its really really really disgusting! WhatAJackAss!!!!

Stupid food poisoning! make me stay at house by my 18th birthda! Stupid stupid stupid! It's my 18th la wei.......I'm staying at home like a nobody come to this world, you know? How simpleton is it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I WANNA BITE SOMEONE BADLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do something please

Please lahhh! don't make me delete you from my contact list again. 

But this really the only way for me to get away from boob! 

Try to do something.

I know its useless for me to write at here.

nothing random here

what to say? Liars everywhere.

sick. tired. anything.

no way for the like.

even yes, they just make it as fun.

no one will have their promise till the end.

for what to make those stupid promise?

it's just some kind of sweet words for girls.

just like a tissue

use it for comfort someone.

but what will be after that?

throw into the trash because it is used.

confidence sometimes  been break down into pieces

just because of those fellas.

some sucking blood's words

make many one crash into pieces

and who know they'll awake or not.

perhaps they need a lot of time from recovering.

just because of some stupid words and promise

make fellas can't even believe in everyone.

someone might filter for billion times once in a time

make the 'someone' being so tired and exhausted.

totally.

totally shitty and crappy about thinking this kind of things.

and they've no way to be any ending of thinking.

because the falsehood will be playing just like the movie for everyday.

non-stop. and not even wanna stop it.

what to do? 

the world is keep spinning and everyone is still moving on.

and also the lies will be continue and keep on.

what to do?

either keep in the closet or cry like hell

either break the glass and cut yourself 

either beat the pillows or anyone that you dislike

either just keep the status like this

keep it into the inner until the limit

until it burst out.

 

oh my holy god-father. 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

FACE TO THE MIRROR

Don't you feel Mirror is such an awesome creation in this planet. Without mirror, we don't even know clearly what we look like, whether ugly or beauty, handsome or geek. Argghhh! But you can find some fellas beside you don't even know what for the mirror been created. Please laahhh! Mirror is not only use appearance, but your heart. Get it? Take a chair, face in front of the mirror and think! For SOME PEOPLE, choosey and picky in everything, complain this or that no matter where or when, speak like the God-Father in front of crowd, act like the Encyclopedia, showing off with their foolish attitudes and blablahblahhh, it's really such a bitchy freaky crappy attitude. They don't even think how they look like in other's eyes. they just wanna show it off to the whole world that they're the most genius just like Einsten or what. I can't bear off this kind of fellas sometimes. but what to do? Just keep silence and quiet and doing nothing, because it's none of my mother business. But you know what, FACE AT THE MIRROR LAHHHH PLEASE BEFORE YOU SAY ANYONE and you'll find out how ugly and shameful you look like in front of people. just imagine that the mirror are those peoples, and you're crapping shit in front people. Don't you think is stupid and silly? To be honest, you're really the person like this when you start your "speech".

 "Ohh! Can you just keep your mouth shut, and keep it in your pocket and zip it up! BullShit you this fucking bitch, I just wanna cook your lips as a hotdogs and pack in the plastic bags and stamp it as I can. arghhhhhhh!!!! Just shuddap shuddaapppp and SHUDDDDAPPPPPPPPPP!''

Nice! nice! nice! so nice! after all, I'm totally released. heeeeeee =D Peace ^.^\/

P.S : Sorry if say any bad words. 

baby dumping is getting worse!!!

HOW FAILURE THESE PEOPLES ARE?

HOW CAN THEY JUST THROW A BABY LIKE THAT EASY.

JUST LIKE THROWING RUBBISH?

ITS A BABY

A LIFE.

OMFFFGGG! 

I keep reading those articles these few days.

I CAN'T IMAGINE OR THINK WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING ABOUT?

IS THAT EASY TO DUMP A BABY LIKE THIS?

HOLLLLLLLY SHITTTTTTTTT!

YA, THEY DO THROW A BABY IN THE SEWAGE SPILLS!

just like throwing their shit???

Don't fuck if you don't want the baby!

If you want, please play safe!!!
you know what is CONDOM???
!!!!

whattheworldis??????

click here to view the photos

P.S : I'm super super .........XXXXX now!

Rojak post ever

I have a lot of dream lately.

when I having a nap afternoon.

The dream is so actual

Not related about the princess or nightmare or disaster.

Not even a dream I guess so.

Because it's too real.

Just like it will happen in the future. 

But I guess not.

and Please don't be not too.

Partial please.

and I'm not going to tell you guys what's that dream actually

as I had forget approximately.

just leave some taste in my heart.

C'mon, I know is not my style for typing this.

But I get to say some.

I think, 

It's not LIKE instead of curiosity.

You're curious when you first met the girl like this.

because you haven't met any yet.

So you determine it as LIKE.

In fact, I don't really believe that the fact that anyone trying to tell me

including you. always.

 don't ask why. because no why.

perhaps is trying to keep herself alone.
for studying. =)

Okay, back to here again.

I showed up my stink face after presentation.

I'm so awful and pissed off this morning.

But I'm so damn freaking super very regret deeply after that.

=) 

you know what, it's been a long time I didn't act like this.

I'm trying to smile and laugh and make jokes around.

I'm trying to sweep off the stupid temper away.

I'm trying to be a good person that with a good temper

AND 

I'm trying forgive someone that pissed me off easily.

I'm trying to cool down myself when I wanna bite someone or cry

I'm trying walk away when argue is going start

BUT

I'm not trying to ACT friendly and kindly to the person that I'm so pissed off/dislike.

because I'm not a liar.

I am who I am.

I won't do anything purposely to please someone.

except to the person I care.

So rojak lahhhh this post.

Bye.

P.S : I have a bad presentation today. ='(

P.SS : C'mon Yeeyun, are you telling me you're so jealous now? urghhhhh! whatever!

again.

In 19th July 2010, I talked to a guy with my handphone about 1 hours and 09 minutes. and this is the first time I talk to him like this. And I found that, something really similiar among guys.

Why guys like to ask "if bla bla bla bla, will you love me bla bla bla". I know you've no confident to me. because me too. I have not guts to promise you now, because we're too young to say all of these. Once I say yes, there must be yes although is not. Once I say no, there've no chance to pull anything back. Just like we're having our test paper in STPM. Maybe you can choose to say Agree for 100%. or Disagree for 100%. or Partial in the statement. I guess I prefer the third one (teacher too). It's easier for me. I don't know what will happen in the future, maybe you'll shift, maybe I'll go for overseas, or perhaps we both have found the beloved, there're thousands of probability in the world, who knows? So, I'm so tired to give any promise that we really can't make it, by the way "promise" is really a big word, at least for me. I don't want to give anyone so easily unless I can make it so perfectly. For now, at least I like you, my friend. You know what, I still can't believe that you say you like me, you say it to anyone that ask you. I just like, "Whooooaaaaaaaaa!!! Is he serious now?" What else can I think anymore? although anyone is telling me the about this statement ( statement huh?)

Before this, I'm sober enough, and I don't want to be involve about this again. The bitching helling stuff has been annoying me for few weeks, and finally I'm awake from that. I'm don't haggle over anythings agian, using the attitude of whatever. I guess this is a kind of lessons, and keep alarming me that I need to study. study. study instead of the L things. The "Ex-guy" that really make me clear about the incapable of promise and guy words. so thats why I don't really trust your words ( guys ). I'm sorry. I need time to recover and pack it up and start another journey in my sketchbook. So, timing is the main point now. of course feeling is needed too. thats all I wanna say.

P.S : The "Ex-guy" is the L guy. but is not the main guy in this post.

P.SS : get it what I mean? hahahaha. whack your head seriously before you think again. haha

MAKING DECISION DISORDER

After the design.

Sponsorship is the next!

I HAVE

MAKING DECISION DISORDER!

ISHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

T_______T

3 weeks left.
T_______T

Can I absent for the big day?

F.U!

DAMN IT!!!!

C'MON! JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE THE QUEEN, BUT U'RE THE NUT THAT TOTALLY FULFILLED THE WORLD WITH SH*T. DON'T TRY TO TELL ME WHAT'S RIGHT FOR HUMAN, DON'T TRY TO TAKE CONTROL ABOUT EVERYONE. YOU'RE JUST AN ANT IN THIS PLANET THAT NOT ENOUGH TO SPEAK ANY HUMAN LANGUAGE! U'RE NOT THE PRINCESS OR QUEEN OR DICTIONARY THAT PROVE U'RE RIGHT IN ANY SITUATION! I CHOOSE TO BE SILENCE DOESN'T MEAN I'M THE WRONG, I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT LIKE A STUPID BIRD WITH YOU THIS SICKED ILL APE. THEY DON'T WANT TO FIGHT BECAUSE THEY'RE SMIRKING HELPLESSLY JUST BEHIND OF U. OH PLEASE U THIS PITY LITTLE PEOPLE, TRY TO CHECK OUT WHAT U REALLY ARE EITHER BEHIND OR IN FRONT OF SOME COMMON PEOPLE. I'M WONDERING U'RE HAPPY TO MAKE SOMEONE PISSED-OFF?

FED UP !

DAMN IT!

(SORRY! TRY TO COOL DOWN)

No Spam!. Life is Glorious.

the music is turning on. the clock is showing am now. what kind of music? It's a sad song that officially playing when I'm moody. Today too? hmmmmmmmmmmm...no idea. Just merely wanna shorting myself for a plain while. too much spam forced to email themselves inside my brain. it's squeeezy and bothering my own judgement. I'm trying not to think the bad, i'm trying not to speak the worst, but its a hard task! Fuck-up! erghhh! X-(




/Take a deeeeep breathe. really/






Relax







Lively song is playing. and of course change it to the usually yeeyun. Life is Glorious
Fuck off!! the double trouble grandmother's ancestor stinky story. just shut up!