难得糊涂

对这世界毫无兴趣的人，别人也不会对你有兴趣！

我很好，别担心！就突然想到郑板桥的“难得糊涂！”.

反而，想念了在远方的朋友！

希望她永远都那么好！

黄思蔚小姐,我命令你,跟我吃多点！

quicky updates

what a tiring week. Having interview and tour and technique for STPM papers non stop for the holy week. I'm exhausted. bla bla bla. I'm treated my juniors so good in attitude and it never happens in the past, what's going on me? I don't know where's my temper right now? maybe hiding themselves somewhere else. hahaha! okay, i have to rest. and i know i'm running out of time for the trial!

god bless for my explorace, I hoped I get kicked out by the group. what a "holy jesus group" adui. night!

人要向前看！

因为啊，人生短短几十年，当然是为了自己而活！

 

我啊，很烦！所以不像再去想了！

发生就发生了！

即使，出现在眼前，或别人提起，也懒得再去想了！

因为，我已把所有的不想，打入冷宫了！

有空的时候，才去想吧！

 

人要向前看！

 

但我还是想预祝那些，平时不多烧香拜佛，蠢得让人识破自己，却还以为自己正在独秀着的人类，马到成功！

 

摇头-ing!

 

wo yao qu sui jiao le!

boring. busy. erhe!

Sometimes, I might wondering wheter I like busy or boring.

partial perhaps.

Busy, but contented.

Boring, but contented too!

I need some rest seriosly.

another spam out here, so WATCH OUT!

I'm doing good. no worries!

HAVING SWEET DREAM with T.G.I.F!

babyyyeebarbecuebubbleblues. shudddddddapp!

erhe!

Damn!

For one night, I miss my instrument

For only tonight, I miss my band life.

For ton of days I miss my dancing life.

I can't shake as I used to be.

as BACKACHE!

Screwed my mood everytime those hot song playing!

Damn!

I guess medicine doesn't rule!

Bubble bubble bubble pop!

night!

修养

前几天，和哥哥去吃午餐的路程上，突然看到一辆车后贴着了一句名句金言:

“看别人不顺眼，是自己的修养不够！”

当时的我们，却争着要把它po上网!

言归正传！

所以，现在我想要说的事，

本小姐正在练“修养”！

放心！当我修炼成功之时，我会宣告天下！

哈哈哈！

再会！

介绍！介绍！

昨晚看了一部叫《献给你，我的初恋》。真的是把我给哭惨了，拼命告诉自己是一部戏，但还是一直哭，一直哭，哭到今天早上眼睛不知道有多少层！这是我看过最伤心的一部了！我想还比《一公升的眼泪》还要多泪！到现在想到都还想再哭！所以，有谁想要好好大哭一场，就选这部戏来看吧！诚心推荐！

一个星期有过了，我们又要迎接另一个星期。那，我祝大家有个好星期和好心情！晚安！

fucking form 6

Please, human. 

Do not think that I know nothing.

the only reason I don't know, is I don't want to know.

get it?

Please use your brain little, no matter a few neurones or what?

I don't care.

Make it clear!

Do not think that I don't know what is happening right now!

Do not think that I don't know what are you thinking right now!

The only reason I don't know it just as I don't care to know and I don't want to know!

Does it clear now?

I hate to admit it.

Ya, I felt lost right now.

Seriously, who makes me change my mind?

Seriously, what is the asshole reason I wanna step my feet into High School Klang?!

I don't like Form 6 at all.

no matter the life or peoples.

just hating and hating!

Ya, so what?

Form 6 is tough, and makes people be more tougher and stronger after graduate

but so what?

i don't care? get it?

I mean, I'm tough enough!

 I don't need those things at all.

Today is the day when the 2010 STPM students get to know which "U" are they going to.

Suddenly, I felt like I'm a dumbass by choosing form 6 as my core foundation!

Stupid like dumbass!

even stupid like donkey or a pig. babi betul!

They're all fighting their ass off just to enter their dreams U.

But me?

I don't want to enter local U please!

I don't want to stay at here for my 4 years of degree.

I want some changes for my study life.

I need experiment for study abroad.

Once my dear is leaving, and I can so ensure I can't lose my faith to study abroad.

But...........?!

Stupid form 6 makes me felt I'm Ms.Stupid-So-Ever!

I know, I promise to cherish what kind of things I'm having now, including the fucking form 6.

so earlier before, I promised!

but, can you imagine that feeling?

like walking a wrong way to success.

just like you're wasting your time and energy and those fucking stupid tears.

sigh!

get it?

I'm so out of mood right now!

I need my Gbaby's photos right now!

bye

还好，不是只有我一个！

好久没有真正的写一篇网记了！真得很突然的click 到，一位梦想成为旅游家的人大马人。托他的福，我不再觉得我是一个奇怪的人。我想他是一个背包旅游爱好者，头一次的背包旅游献给了沙巴州的山打根。比起那些城市，他更喜欢富有神秘感的热带雨林。读完后，我就觉得超羡慕他的！那次的背包旅行，让他认识到了很多来自世界各地的背包旅行爱好者。也许因为他是男生，所以事情显得比较容易办到！在他的网记中，可以看得出，他正在努力想把马来西亚十三个州都给走完！

“第一次背包旅游在没任何计划下成功完成了， 明白到人生一大道理， 1到100很容易， 0到1却很难。 无论为生活， 为梦想， 就让我们大家一起勇敢的跨出那0到1的一大步， 加油!!”


一边读着他的网记，以便可以发现，他从旅游中和所到过的地方，体会到了很多人们不会去注意的道理，真得很简单！

“人， 活着是为了什么？ 这问题我想每个人都曾经问过自己， 多数都找不到答案。 近期的我， 又再一次跌入大海中， 视野中只看到海平线。 我拼命的游， 努力的游， 为了就是要游到岸边， 但无论我在如何努力的游， 拼命的游， 岸边都不会出现在我的视野里， 因为我在大海中失去了方向， 一切的努力， 一切的拼命也只是围绕着同一个点而已， 只希望能有一艘船经过， 将我救出... （ 与其说我在一次跌入大海， 倒不如说我从未游到岸上 ）
重复性的工作， 给予不到任何的成就感给我， 很想程上辞职信， 就这样逃离所熟悉的地方， 奔向那陌生的国土... 身无分文的我， 又要如何走天下呢？ 目前的我， 真的感觉很 空 虚 ...


15号终于要来临了， 我的一个人之旅， 一个我认为能打救我的旅游来了， 我要借助我一个人旅行的力量， 认真的与心灵深处对话， 看清我到底需要什么... 抛弃一切， 提起背包一走了之吗？ 完成梦想后才来考虑那放下背包后的生活如何过吗？ 那明年我要到纽西兰所需的一笔费用又如何能存到呢？ ”
 

这是他下定决心一个人背包旅游前的一篇！今年的我，19 岁了！不知，到了什么岁数我才有勇气，像他一样，立志走遍天下，一个人！他说，原来背包旅行可以让自己更了解自己，让自己去聆听，平时不想去聆听的内心话。

以上我说过得那位背包旅游爱好者，真得去过好多好多地方，如美国，香港，印度，中国（很多）。。。等等！

好了，如果再写下去，我会忍不住明天就去订机票！想要读一读的话，请按这里，晚安！

Seriously, I don't really care what people talk behind me.

and everyone knows that's called backstabber.

and I don't think my friends do. although they do

because they're my friends. simple reason.

I knew this will happens always in this world pratically.

so I'm learning anyway.

Not learning to be the backstabber or be in the part.

I'm learning how to adapt it.

We have any types of human in this world.

Underneath those naive human, remaining the so-wrong-people

(sorry,  I can't find any nice words except this)

Can you tell me how you feel or what you will do after you discovered the "so-wrong-people" is just beside you.

I'll just smile naively in fact.

As you know, nothing will gonna change although you try to shed your tears.

shaking my head left and right, is the first thing I did when it happens to me.

So, I'm going to live the life that I want.

care the people that I want to.

that's it!

dear leaving

I hate this feeling.

the people you care, they're leaving.

the people you used to care about, they're narrow. they're wrong.

anythings went wrong.

I know I shouldn't cry. but what can I do beside depressed?

I felt I've nothing left after my dear's leaving.

I know it isn't long, but where can I find the strength to face it after knowing those things.

I'm not the only one knew this kind of this shit things, BUT I'm the only one who is staying around those shit things.

Okay,I'm strong enough.

I know my thing.

I can't smile to a person that was so wrong.

how can I talk to a phony?

Anyway, I'm should grateful shiwei's leaving.

maybe she's not so stronger than me. hahaha.

She's flying tomorrow.

Hope she takes good care of herself always.

and God bless her pleaseee!

I lied. I'm going to cry.

Where is my GD's photo? :(

;

在我这个年龄，生气，伤心，或闹小孩脾气，只会降低自己的格调，甚至令自己变得更愚蠢。当遇到委屈时，你只有两个选择。一，算了吧！二，还是算了吧！我这么说不是因为我很好说话，是因为我暂时只想到的只有这个而已了。没有为什么，因为我很大方，虽然很痛，但能怎样？就是不能怎样，所以我才说算了吧！而，我能想到的只有这个了！


在车上，朋友说了一件极为普通的事情，但我却消化不了。为什么？因为不舒服，因为。。。。（算了）

原来，世界就是存在着你永远意想不到的人类，正在做出一些你更本不会联想到的事情。很不舒服，真得很不舒服！

努力，努力着如何更像钢铁般的心智！努力这“拿得起，放得下！”的道理。晚安!

god bless my dear

It is not a big deal for my MUET result. I got Band 3, so what? I'm not buying for local U. But the only problem I'm so worry now is my dear is going going going going going to New Zealand not more than two weeks later. Not only her leaving is wondering me, but also the earthquake in Christchurch. As I remembered last time, she told me her place of study is so near to Christchurch. and there is having another earthquake yesterday. God bless this little long-thin leg BFF. sigh. hope we have a better tomorrow. good night

god-damn

okay. okay. one week gone, another week gone. Mom and brother came back from Turkey too, but my holiday's plan-to-do-revision screwed up. totally screw up. I keep watching variety show, drama, movies, sleep, twitter, facebook, outing, totally slacking around with no pen life. god. Please send someone to motivate me. Or maybe I need some bad result to be the rock and fire for me. I need motivation. Maybe I can conclude it is Play hard, work hard in this entire life. Damn. I'm so regretful right now, but still stay in front of the TV. god-damn. god-damn. I gotta go. schooling day tomorrow. byyeeeeeeee :(

not for the twice.

I'll never give the second chance. never and ever. I can't even imagine how we look like when we trying to get together just like the previous. Hell no way! That's awful for me. I can't imagine. Well, you're not deserve for the second chance. Maybe I should say like that, you're not appreciating, so what the fucking reason I should give you or myself another chance? Is that fool? or jokes? Don't you think life is unpredictable, funny and anything irony? For the past few weeks, I keep thinking the same thing that will not happened to me again, but it did. I'm so so sure what am I doing now. I deleted all my messages in my hand phone's inbox and sent box, and I don't even save the number up. So, does it all over? Great. I hope too!

What I wanna say is, you're still tempting for me, but I'm buying you. Although you're still controlling my emotion sometimes, but I'm not into you already, since I've gave up the tiny little from you.

Just I said in the first sentence. I'll never give the second chance. night.



黄小琥 - 顺其自然

我试着让生活变得简单

对幸福或寂寞顺其自然

偶尔傻傻孤单 偶尔傻傻浪漫

不怕大喜大悲那麽难负担

不想再背负太多期盼

对好奇或关心顺其自然

只是那点不安只是那点心酸

总会忽然扩散 让心又累又茫然

 

 

 

 

黄小琥 - 顺其自然



如果能重来

如果能.............重来？

可是

我不要！

要重来几次后才会明白？
明白，所有事情，一次就好。
没必要重来！

something innermost sympton

How to say?

 What to say?

 Everyone have something inmost.

But you can't describe it as well.

I have something innermost.

But still finding the solution to express.

It's hard.

Sometimes, I would rather I'm the one who is leaving, maybe study abroad.

At least, not so tired.

Tired?

About what?

Ironically, right?

Ya, about what?

Nothing.

Maybe anything.

I just 19.

But I keep complaining the whattheheck tiredness.

Sometimes, I would rather I'm the one who is stupid, maybe retarded bit.

At least, not so tired.

Tired?

About what again, this time?

Ya, about what again?

Nothing.

or, maybe ANYTHING.

See! I've said I've something inside the bottom of my heart.

But I can't really type into words.

Even I can't really speak out.

I hope this sympton will recover soon when I opened my eyes in the early morning.

night.

I know I'm deep. haha. off!

Holiday started expectedly

Mid-term exam is over. and I can estimate how terrible I'm going to be. Deadly dead just like a dead fish. Not even one paper I'm confident in. okay, not more than 2 paper okay? see! now you know how you going to die if you keep slacking like a bear, keep doing last minute work? See! STPM is not like cooking mamasak or fooling around by gossiping who is the handsome junior in this school or else, you just have one word, DIE!

okay, I should really relax and type something happy. but NO WAY! I should be on the plane now, with my mother and brother for the Turkey vacation. In fact, I can join but..................ERGHHH! Not allowed by my Holy Dad! He want someone accompany, I knew that, but NOT me please! Imma going to cut myself until my flesh isn't there anymore. For what I said NO to my mom when she's asking me about the trip. At that time, I felt there will be more more and even more tuition and STPM is countdowing. Okay, just few seconds for me to calm down and think something positively. Okay, you should think about this way. you can complete all your peta minda and do all your lower six revision within this stupid long vacation time. okay. done! Fine! ERGHH!

Holiday started. but I wished I can have some tuition marathon. Just don't let my brain hibernate for about 2 weeks. You know, I'll still slacking like a bitch although I swear I'll do all my revision. just forget it. fiction, drama, shopping, sleeping, bilibala here I come. duhh! bye!

WALAOOO eh!

I'm going to smack myself badly.

Can someone just let me know whether I'm still living?

Fuck you Malaysia's weather.

WHATTHEHECK?

I guess I'll be lying down on the floor by no reason.

I've no idea about how i look like when I'm sweating.

I'm so fucking pissed off about the weather.

Because "they" just spoiled my handphone.

Don't ask me how.

Maybe I keep put my handphone in my car's drawer

but who to blame?

human being?

I'm too!

I'm still locking myself in the air-con room

walaooo ehhh!

woyaosile !

Today is the signature day for my junior.

I love my junior so much!

Basically, I don't take her as my junior but My FRIEND.

we've known each other since we're in the ballad school when I was 6, and i guess she was just 5.

until I stopped when I was form 4.

just imagine i'm 19, and she's 18 now. really whoaa :)

okay. next week is the Teacher's Day.

The last teacher's day that we can celebrate.

aigooo.

And afterthat, bloody exam will be holding on.

Should I cut myself first?

Because I found anything I've done was SO WRONG.

despo like hell.

no motivation to keep on my revision.

Fuck my lower six life.

I'm a bitch!

just a despo bitch!

 

P.S : Quite a long time to see my photo huh? BUSYY